i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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