My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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