My nipple is on Facebook.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
