piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
