Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
