He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
