i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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