I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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