You really coming over, don't trick.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I puked a lego.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish you could order shots online.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
