Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
