he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
