omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
