Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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