I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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