Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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