i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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