I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
