apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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