Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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