i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize