they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
