You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
