she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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