butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
