By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
