I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you win again, gameday.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
