Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
