I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
