Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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