Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
