garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
