shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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