dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i out mim tonsoeep
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