i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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