walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
