im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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