I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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