grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
