You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
