The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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