Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
