he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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