Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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