wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
