I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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