Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i think i just lost a toe
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