I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
