Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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