He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
that may or may not have been my penis.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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