I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This baby is an asshole
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
