Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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