im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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