at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I need to calm my uterus...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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