I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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