so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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