I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
