how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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