Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
