I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
