Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
